Roy

Love this song

2011-11-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

Sometime we don't need any other material blessings from him or any supernatural encounter with him. His love and grace is sufficient for all of us.

harvest

2011-11-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

If you plan for a year, plant a seed.
If for ten years, plant a tree.
If for a hundred years, teach the people.
When you sow a seed once, you will reap a single harvest.
When you teach the people, you will reap a hundred harvests.
- Kuan Chung

the most beautiful people

2011-11-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

hav i found my?

2010-12-18T06:13:00.000-08:00

well still thinking and see whether we really have the chance and of course... i oso wanna drag abit longer cos i don see the point of getting one now and right now in front of me is poly and NS! i haven even go through it! serving the country... sianness mann ....

serving

2010-08-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

its been so long since i last blog, well here it goes:

recently, i have come to realize that everything we do, we must have a moderation and it doesn't mean in some area of it. but every area, be it be the effort you are putting in a relatonship with your members or the energy you are using to serve.
things may just backfire if you put too much or it is not enough if you didn't put in enough. yes, it is true that everything we do, we do it with love. but we have to also think of other factor as well. to build a relationship, it require two hand to clap and if you are always the one putting in a lot of time and energy, it may not work out as effective when two are are enjoying the accompany of each other. but if you didn't put enough effort then what you do is just wasting your time and wasting people time.

the longing i use to have.... i need to find it back...

2010-08-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

The more i seek you

The more i find you

The more i love you

I want to sit at your feet

Drink from your cup in your hand

Lay back against you and breath

Feel your heartbeat

This love is so deep

Its more than i can stand

I melt in your peace

It's overwhelming

what am i waiting for?

2010-03-31T05:46:00.000-07:00

Recently, my friend told me that everyone around me have bf/gf already. then, how about me? i have been a single for four years and she say its time for me to go and find one ....but i think otherwise...

Yes, with someone beside you as your life partner, it will definitely help you. i believe it will push you even further and that must be a good relationship. if not , it will become a hindrance rather than it empower you further more and make you more effectively in whatever you are doing. in the book 'Boy meets girl- say hello to courtship' by Joshua Harris, it mention that a good relationship worth all the wait and why wait? it is to wait until the right time. and what is the right time? it is when you are financially ready, you are emotional ready and make sure that both of you can help each other to complete your own individual destiny in life and not a hindrance

oh well, writing so much. i don't think i have found the one and i believe i am not ready yet so yes, i am going to keep on waiting and of course i must get myself ready:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Book craze

2010-03-10T07:09:00.000-08:00

recently i have been reading quite a lot of books :D there is one christian book that i read and it actually say about what kind of relationship is of god and not of god. interesting book. it actually hit me. many time when we had a crush on this person , on that person, but have we ever thought that is this what god wants. many time we just think that as christian our future GF/BF should be a christian, his/her vision should be similar to yours and is he/her passion as strong as how you are. but in god, there isn't such thing as criteria , requirement or even quota. god want us to have a pure relationship that go along with wisdom. he don't want us to end up in a wrong relationship that end up both parties getting hurt. he want us to know that before a relationship bloom out of it. we got to keep praying for it and wait for the right moment. the moment to confess to the person you want to spent your rest of the your life to. yes ! the moment may come out from your gut feeling. but did u pray daily about it? if not that gut feeling isn't what god spur you on but your desire that ignite it....

thats all for today so yeap:D:D:D:D:D

listening ...seeing...watching

2010-01-28T00:23:00.000-08:00

listening to my own heart beat...

listening to the air-con's motor moving...

listening to the water pipe dripping water...

listening to the wind gushing through me...

listening to the quietness around me...

listeing to what god want me to do...

seeing myself knowing what is the purpose of the cell group that i want to have in future...

seeing myself growing more and more in the lord...

seeing my vision getting more and more clearer in my life...

watching old man and woman chatting about their happy moment bad moment of their life...

watching a cat moving around finding food to survive...

watching how my members grow and becoming a better person in their life...

watching how my brother grow...

watching how my family getting better and better...

yet...

im not happy...

im not convince...

im not confident enough...

...

why?

...

you have shown me so many grace in me...

you have bless me so many time...

you have mould me for who i am today...

yet...why?

i think twice on you?...

not garang enough when it comes to doing your work?...

i dare not to take the step of faith?...

didn't rely on you more? ...

need to have more faith in you?...

i think so...

spiritual tiredness

2010-01-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

does anyone noe what i feel right now... feeling sooo drained and warned out.......... i need a retreat...

overwhelming ...

2010-01-02T01:59:00.000-08:00

too many heartfelt thing that im goin through now... each and everyday , i carry wif a heavy heart ... a heart that donno where to go, which way should i take... i got the answer... A fickle minded me just won't move ... he is thinking of having both whereas he knows that he got to choose one and move on... he just won't budge...

first day of the year (2010)

2009-12-31T18:11:00.001-08:00

aim for 2010:
i wan myself to become more mature in you:D
i wan to see W446 grow more be it in the quality and the quantity:D
i wan to see myself slim down...:D
i wan to rise up to become a leader :D
i wan to see my GPA getting better:D
40 members by 24 of feb:D

Prostrate

2009-12-25T17:59:00.000-08:00

after all the crying out and calling upon him... my heart feeling better now.....
let this vessel be onto him and let him decide on my life for it is not my will but your will be done...

i will try my best to serve his people with compassion, i will try my best lift up everything unto him...

visit to dover park hospice

2009-12-23T10:14:00.000-08:00

what more can i do for the people there.... when they might just go anytime .... but all i can do is to offer them a pray so that when they go, they will go in peace...

there was an uncle that really goin to make me cry today... when he held on to my hand, he was as if he hold on to a life... but when i let go, his face show me a very 'don bear to let go' face. i can feel when i let go of my hand, he tried to stretch out to continue to hold on to my hand but i didn't... having such a heartwrenching moment for them, i realise how to cherish my life more, value myself more...

my 15th days of fasting

2009-12-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

im tired, feeling like an empty shell walking around tryin my best to do everything i can to meet the ppls need, listening to them and wait upon them... each and every day, W446 u all have been in my thoughts. wherever i go i thought of all of you, each and everyone of you...

by the time now i should be in my 16th day of fasting, god's presense and his power becomin more and more stronger in me. its like whatever i pray , i can feel his presense around me strongly and his power gushing over me, flowing into my every inch of my body. ITS AMAZING!!!

this year had been a very tough year for me... i went through hell... but i believe the more hell i went through, god make me appreciate more things in life. Loving people is the most amazing thing that god shown me. it builts life, it creates good relationship with each other and it creates a heartwarming place for people to come and feel welcome ... thats all i have today, signing out:D

sian ah...

2009-11-29T20:02:00.000-08:00

i feel tired... i need to depend on u more...... i feel that as i grow, i need even more.... you are someone i can depend on when all the storm come in my way ...

maintenance...

2009-11-22T16:26:00.001-08:00

mann after a week of shitting and vomitting. my body is back to normal now:)

future...

2009-11-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

im burden with where will i be going after poly... everything seem so uncertain...

Mary and Martha

2009-11-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

i wanna put down everything behind and be like what Mary do in the bible. i don't want to be busy with all the things around me. i want to let them know that Roy poh is not indispensable. but why is i so hard for me to put down? why is it always so coincidently that i have to be that busy every week without fail? sometimes i even ask myself why am i so busy trying my very best to impact peoples life whereby i myself was not even impacted at all??? but i realised this when i was in guitar class, we should always be motivated by God and get impacted by God through his word. Now i ask you all why was the word called the sword of the spirit? The sword of the spirit is use for us to get rid of all the negative feeling that saturn plant it in us,it is not use to really holding a bible and trying to kill someone but it is use to motivate us so that we as the holder of the sword are able to continue to get rid of other peoples negative feeling. Example, we encourage people with low self-esteem or even when they are feeling bad about themselves. this are all what we can do as the holder to be able to fight and kill all the demons in every peoples heart.

sometimes i really miss those time when i can really follow my leader to the same bus interchange after cell group and be the first few to reach cell group meeting and fellowship while waiting for the other members to come. Those were the time i really follow all the way mann and i can really follow all the way, even though my ah ma may be already holding a chopper ready to hack me or she is prepared to nag at me the whole night non-stop but i don't mind all this... can u imagine that it was to an extent that my ldr had to chase me home than i will start to slowly move my butt. be it be visitation, funeral, volunteering events or even to just help her to print her SOT assignment... i don't mind... because i love the fellowshipping , the bond untill the point i know what she wants and what she was burden about...

mann, i really miss those time alot and maybe its time i should do the same to my ldr le:D

just came out from my quiet time..

2009-11-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

dwell in his presence and he will give u rest and all your worries and burden will be lifted up to his hands...

Random thoughts

2009-11-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

just now i got a random thought that comes across my mind. i got the sudden curious of wanting to know who will be my future wife:) very random ritz!!! IS LIKE SOOOOOOOOOOOO RANDOM:) BTW I AM ROY THE RANDOM:) WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:)

GOD!!! WHY!!!

2009-11-10T02:09:00.000-08:00

GOD i want to rise up!!!But why is it so hard... when i started to foresee that what i will face in future, when i will face more things and its going to be more harder.wherever i think of it ,this fear in me,it started to boils up. it worries me alot. i am scared that i am not capable of rising up people, i am scared that i will lead them to the wrong place and end up perish. it is just like how the bible inside write about false prophet, what will they end up with. i am sooo afraid that i will end up be like them. which is no way man. but this fear in me, it is not something that i will tremble but it is something that troubled me a lot and it worries me alot...

alot of time i think that i am not worthy of a lot of things and not capable of it but it is through god's grace that im a CGC now, through his grace i am who i am today overcoming lots of obstacle and tough decision in life...

someone ask me to really go and desire to be a cgl and really pray about it. to be truthful ah, that guy ah everytime give me stress, its like a bomb. anyhow want. be it big or small i still feel the same impact of it. But... but... but to be a good child of god , to show a good servanthood and to be a member that stands in the gap. i have to say ok with it :)

A fulfilled day

2009-11-09T05:13:00.000-08:00

today i had a very good day with a good team, not bad la can say that:). then when school end, 2 of my friend waited for me to go with them, i don't know what attract them to me but they just include me into their circle ( btw at first when i donno they were waiting for me, i was like enjoying my power ranger space la hehehehe). but i decided to leave with them :) hehehe:) after that i coincidently met another friend and we decided to have dinner at causeway point:)

on my way home i actually saw jessamine and i thought that was someone else hahaha:) even though she was wearing a big pink spec but i still don't recognise her hahaha:)

after showering i went straight away to my room and pray:) especially this few days, i had been praying quite alot and i feel that my dependency on God grow so much more that i cant live without it! and it was crazy!!! this year i feel that i really transform totally:) just imagine man, i just prayed for 3 HOURS!!!hehe but i am happy:) i got a rhema word plus encouragement from god it is in 1 cor 2,4. its all inside and it really encourage me greatly. what poh said was really true; as a christian, as a leader, we should get motivated by god through his word often and be a self-motivator to yourself. when things turn bad tap on your own shoulder and say its okay it will get better. when things got improve or you achieve something, tap yourself and say well done:)

2009-11-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

i had a wonderful day today mann:) get to eat so much fried dumpling and in a hawker centre with my lovely W446 hehe:) mannn i love them to the max sia...

mann today i serve usher half way through only... Yong wei, i donno how many sorry can i say to u mann i always like that ...:( other than the usher part i really want to thank god that this year i had alot of breakthrough. it is really a period of moulding up. i can imagine using present situation and bring the past me here to present, i may not able to handle and i may go crazy but now the present me i can handle it, and i can handle it while having a look that im not stress at all. i really had alot of breakthrough this year and im very happy for that:):):)

AN AWESOME DAY I HAD:)

2009-11-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

yesterday, Leila preach about peter. for all the disciple jesus had, i adore peter the most. i understand how he feel when he denied jesus three times and after that the feeling he had. i understand why he decided to go down of the boat and walk on water but half way through he sank.

In life, there are so many time when we have a lot of conviction to do something especially when it is something new. but after a few months or even years, that passion and fire started to warn out and in the end "POOF" gone. people tend to waver a lot especially when things start to go bad. Recession, Relationship and even your walk with God. It is exactly the same when peter walk on water. when thunder comes "BONG" and cold wind blow passes you. you started to feel scared and in the end fall. Why peter denied knowing jesus for 3 times? we, as human we love to have a comfortable life, a smooth riding want and happily ever after. BUT in this world, this kind of life does not seem to have, because we are living in an imperfect world. SO when things started to turn bad and hopeless, you started to denied it and try to escape from it. thats why when jesus came back and ask him' do you love me' .this conversion between peter and jesus was not to let peter feel guilty or bad about himself but to pull him back, reassure him that he can still do great things for God and God did not scold him but to also love him just like how he love his 12 disciple.

just now the overnight prayer meeting was really one awesome day i had . even though its tiring and all. but that was a time when your spiritual body took over your physical body and have victory over it and i didn't know sarah can sing so well! its like OMG!!! are u serious! but anyway thats not the point haha:) i can imagine sarah eyes staring at this:) hahahaha

mannn..... what m i thinking

2009-10-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

for all the lethergic, exhausted and dried up feeling i have. i am going to put that aside and push myself forward and stand in the gap for my leader. i believe breakthrough will come soon and it will be good.

find joy, when you serving him.
find hope, when there is too much disappointing moment.
stand strong. even though everything may seems to crumble down before you.
in all, be content with whatever you are doing and go all te way for him:)

who do you turn to

2009-10-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

In time of fear, who do you turn to.
In time of joy , who do you share it with first.
In time of difficulty, who do you go to find help.

in whole, who do you look out for first:)

Prayer

2009-10-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

If anyone could ever pray for me... All i need is to have more strength and bigger capacity.

tuesday 20th oct 2009

2009-10-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

it was great. i have some time for myself and i felt recharge already and now prepared to focus once again towards my destiny and what i need to do...

Capacity

2009-10-17T06:14:00.000-07:00

i feel that i need greater capacity... to contain all this things...

2009-10-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Jon had gave me a word, the word that i felt very important to me and its the main problem I'm facing right now, the rising up of members and to lead them up. i want to teach them what it means to run after the leader, what it means to stay faithful even though everything crumbles in front if you, what it means to stay strong when you are hit emotionally and physically and what it means to come to church and cell group without fail even though you are tired, sick and etc... unless your leader says you should stay at home to study or get more rest in order for you to recover from your sicknesses.

i'm encourage and i am all pump up to conquer the world once again:)

14 october 2009 9:47 PM

2009-10-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

.........

(best to describe me at the moment)

Urge

2009-10-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

it had been disturbing me for quite some time and it is still happening. i have this urge, this urge to tell my leader, this urge to just shout ' I WANT TO RISE UP!!!'. this urge is so overwhelming that i felt breathless and i thought i had asthma. and im serious. it is making my whole body feeling very weird .

All in all, what is the purpose of doing all this

2009-10-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

In the midst of serving his people, in the midst of all the sadness disappointment discouragement and heartaching, i found joy...The joy of seeing my members grow, seeing my members more closer to me, seeing myself really in the midst of the people that i can guide them up, seeing stranger smiling to me and say 'thank you' when i serve them with my utmost effort, seeing myself able to fight for my leader, seeing myself able to grow so much and have so many breakthrough and i improve my guitar skill.

All in all, i see myself closer to my destiny, the vision God have given to me. the seed i plant which is my vision and now it started to grow and is still growing...

For all my life, i think the whole process was not a bed of rose but rather under all the torns i see roses. i am the type that things don't come easy. example: one of my friend, did not really study a lot but rather she always went to fish and co, restaurant upon restaurant and shop there shop here and she can get L1R4 7 and i studied like crap and i got a really lousy results. this was Roy's life. Rom 12:12 really speak of my life. for all my life i feel that i went through a lot of trials and tribulations. but from all this i learn how to empathy people more and i understand what is the meaning of Rom 12.

sigh

2009-10-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

i felt a bit useless when i was at the hospital with you. i wanted to share your burden, i wanted to share how you felt at that time. but all i can do was to sit there and do nothing. do you know that how sad i am when all i can do was to just to sit there and gave you my support.

All along, even until now, i have always treat you like a brother to me. how can i not feeling anything when you are feeling down, how can i possible not know when you are not happy. it somehow hurts to see you like that. not being gay but the love of a brother...

DONNO WHAT TO PEN DOWN

2009-10-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

Love freely, just like how God is.
Love the church, just like how God describe a church as a bride.
Love his people, just like how Jesus show his love to us.

Wait, when God has his own timing.
pray, when you are met with problems.
Serve, even though you are tired.
Commit, when you don't even feel like coming.
Have faith, even when things turn bad.

In whole, love God wholeheartedly and love his people fervently.

Communicate effectively

2009-06-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

Effective communication in the workplace will minimise misunderstandings among colleagues thus maximising work efficiency. When we have communication breakdowns at work, we spend time and energy trying to make amends.

Be mindful of these components of communication
Choice of words
Tone of voice
Non-verbal cues: body language and emotions expressed
Relationships between communicating parties

Be an active listener and speak with discretion
Being an active listener gives people the impression that you are genuinely interested in their views and also shows respect to the speaker. Speaking with discretion also helps to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings with peers. Cultivate the habit to think before you speak so that you say the right things at the right time.

Communicate effectively with your superiors(leader)
Learn to accept instructions and feedback from your superiors as it is important to understand their positions and reasoning. You should also not hesitate to ask for help when you need it and to explain problems that you encounter in your work when necessary.

Communicate clearly and frequently with your colleagues on the following
what you are currently doing for the company
what are some goals you are striving for at work, and even some of your personal ones that may affect work
some of the difficulties you are facing with customers, management, colleagues etc (without sounding like you are whining and complaining)

Value of face-to-face interactions
When we communicate with a person face-to-face, we can build trust and openness with our verbal and non-verbal cues. We can also sense and understand the other person’s point of view and what they feel.

resource:
http://www.hpb.gov.sg/mentalhealth/article.aspx?id=254

man!!! this is my 38th post since sec school

2009-06-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

This weeks had been refreshing and fulfilling. i worked for NTUC learning hub road show at Toa Payoh. All along i had been working for NTUC learning hub. Yeah! i got a pay increment. Very happy and the commission increase as well.

This week i also had more time for my member. i managed to meet Li tong, Desean, irene and henry. Visitation takes effort, energy and i will need to arrange my time. but if you think, just by going to meet the member or going to their house and have a normal chat or teach them on the subject that they are weak in(if you are good), you are actually touching their heart and make them more open up to you. Whatever that you are doing. if you focus on impacting and touching the person's life. Nothing can stop you and you will not even think of saying that you are lazy or don't have the enthusiastic to do it.

EDUCATION

2009-05-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

i'm burden. teach me how to help a guy who is normal but was send to a special school. he was suppose to study in a normal school. but right now, how to help him ? i really want to help him in at least try to help him go back to the normal school. hey he is a guy where i see great future in him, great prospect but going into a special school cannot lead him to unleash his potential in a better way. in a way that he can utilize himself fully and lead no regrets in his life. hey! its a life!A precious life that can be florish into something great. i can visualise him doing something that have a lot of future example a doctor, i can see him with a great prospect like good pay that is able to feed his family and have extra left. i see him as someone able to do great things for god. i need an answer a way to help him get back to the normal track of education . let my prime be a time i can give out all the way to help people and to love people fervently.

for past few days

2009-05-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

for these past weeks i had been through a lot of things. it really stretched my capacity to the max and i am really dried up and squashed up. but in my lowest time there is light. brother poh class really make me realised that i should look on the bright side. i should not always focus on how to solve or deal with the nagative side, i should learn how to enjoy the process of the problem. from there then i can enjoy and even manage to laugh although my world seems to be in a mess.

these past few days , i can't seem to focus. when i start to focus, my mind went blurr and i can't seem to focus well. my each and every part of my body seems to break apart and my body seems to be everywhere. i cannot split myself into different parts. for all these while my prayers were always to manage my things well and know how to balance my life well.

Let God be in the centre of your life

2009-05-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God

Career and education roadshow

2009-03-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

From 5 to 8 of march.I was very busy in my work.At first, i thought that the working environment would be very bad. but in the end it turn out to be very good. i met good friends like Sam,joan,estella,May and daniel.These people were promoters as well same as me.and the perm staff there oso very good to us, ppl like Teri(boss),Henry,wai ting, charlie,cheryl and tommy.

After the roadshow, we went to marina square to eat and after that they went to drink but i didn go wif them because i was too tired already and my phone batt died so ya i have to go home if not my ah ma would worried for me.these 4 days were very memorable for me.

Thinking i will be studying at RP

2009-03-01T18:52:00.000-08:00

No one love to study at RP.its not i look down on RP.in fact when i was sec 3 i knew there is 5 poly and i wan to get into NP but i didn make it.during the O level,i put to much stress on each and every papers.When i was doin each question, i thought of my future,i thought of what am i goin to do in the future and because of this it became a very big burden that weigh down on me, it really gave me extra lots of stress and pressure therefore i screwed my papers.

i have make target on my GPA. i want a GPA of 4 and maybe because of this target i will be very busy on my study and i think it will make my life there busy instead of sulking everyday dragging my feet to school.i really pray hard that the friend tat will be in the same class will all be good student and wanting to learn. As for Randi, i will make effort to meet her everyday go to school together and come back together.although we are in different course but im sure we will make effort to meet everyday, isn't that great that there are friends you will want to hang out with.i don't think i will want to have a lot of friend in RP because i don't want to create more trouble.isn't that stupid that friends that you make actually help u create more trouble and it will be very draining of your energy when you have homework,project,presentation and friends trouble(gossip,hypocrisy,backstabbing and etc...).But if you really want to further your studies then you won't have the time to even care about the backstabbing and etc... All you will want is to study, study and maybe 1 to 2 friends that you usually hang out with when you feel bored or even simple stuff like watching movie or even jus to scroll around.That will be the life i want to have at poly man.hehe:)

On a sunday...

2009-02-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

After service,something happened to one of the member in my cell group.i don't wish to mention out what happened, but it hit on me very hard.it shows me that one day when i become CGL.i must really get ready to go all the way down to help the members and i need to save up money.If that day,if jon didn't have money,jon wouldn't bring the member to a hospital maybe just a nearby clinic only.from what jon did.it really tells me that being a CGL is not jus another rank but is to lay down his life for their members.When i was at the hospital i cannot get into the room to see her because i didn got the sticker and i was quite worried because i don't know how is it already.All i can do is to get her some food and thats all that i can do ...

23/02

2009-02-23T16:08:00.000-08:00

yesterday i went gymming with Randi.On the way to Delta Gym, it started to rain and it was not just drizziling,it was POURING.So we were stucked below the MRT track.After walking through a small long kou,i started to run quickly to the gym but Randi was stuck there cannot climbed up the small slope then i would have to run back and helped her.By the time i reached the swimming pool entrance,we were already drenched.But we don't care,we still went gymming.hahaha!!!We used the abs machine,tricep,bicep and pedal.so overall we did all machine equipment which i did not touch for quite long already.We oso use the machine tat train our back. hehe,i shall not reveal how heavy Randi did hahaha!!!

Btw after gymming,we went to a condo to find back her red water bottle but her bottle wasn't inside.the security guard didn got her water bottle so as the management office.so Randi was in a very frustrated and moody mood because that bottle was actually a present from her mum.After the condo, we took cab down to Dawson Place in hopping that her bottle was at the bakery shop that she bought her luo mi fan 1 week ago(its a bit too late.1 week ago.who will remember you.)but true and behold,her water bottle was found by the owner of the bakery shop and the owner put it at a very obvious place where the moment i got in i will be able to see it then i tell Randi and she was very happy.

On the way walking towards the bus stop opposite Dawson Place,we were talking about if she gets into uni and the gap difference will be if im in year 1 then she will be doin her year 3 already because i will need to go through NS first then continue my studies.

Taking 51 to ABC market that area to eat.we had our vegetarian food for dinner.Randi eat mee sua and i eat pineapple fried rice.It was nice and very economic.After eating, i ask her how is the Mitch Albom book that i lend her ''the five people you meet in heaven".it was a great book,i also share other story on Mitch Albom like ''tuesday with Morrie'' and ''for one more day''.I also tell her the story on this book ''wednesday letter''. this book is very good,everyone should read it.

By the time we were ready to go,it was already 5 plus so i send her home.When i was taking 198 home i fell asleep and the bus was very comfortable.Around my stop that i need to alight to go home.i thought that since the day is still bright why not i go to JP and walk so i continue to sleep in the bus.When i reached JP i noticed that my ez link card got only $1 and i got shock because i just top-up 10 dollar the day before only.The transport fee is really killing me,ripping of my every cents.i went JP to find jon's present.u noe because of his present i had been very stress for the past few days.man i have to do the survey today already.its a must!!!

btw today i wrote a lot of things and is a lot hehe...

13/02/09

2009-02-13T21:29:00.000-08:00

Although today was really bad for me i screwed cell group praise.i felt very embarrassed by that and not only that i feel very wrong today. Everything went so wrong to me. y suddenly from a 16 beat i go and change it to 8 beat.it was obviously off the beat and off everything.i really went ki siao.everything that i did seem not what i intended to do.it was like i want to this but unknowingly i go and do another and i don't understand what am i doing...:(

A period of dark valley

2009-01-30T19:23:00.000-08:00

This few days,I had been worrying about my posting,very worried.This period of times,thoughts a lot of thoughts kept running through my mind untill yesterday, the posting came out and i am posted to RP micro and nano tech.That course was not really what i wanted. i was actually expecting my JPSAE to post me to TP.but now i am stable already.what i will be doin now is to wait for the appeal.i appeal for the interative design in RP so now is really what god want but not my will anymore. its between nano tech and design. cos now what i want now is to get a diploma with good GPA and get into uni. Side track a bit but i think it will benefit me cos i will have more choice of jobs in future cos i will not only have a diploma in this and i will oso have a degree for another thing so i will have a backup lorx...its like when u are working in a lawyer firm and u have a degree for this, but one day u kana sack then at list u won have to stick to being a lawyer but can go for another like maybe working in a bank and that is totally different but this will be the backup.

27/01(Traumatic day)

2009-01-28T02:51:00.000-08:00

this is one day that i felt i was in hell.u really feel it was HELL!!! early in the morning i went to my ah ma hse(father side wan) to bai nian.after that i went to my 2 gu buo hse(ah ma's sis).they were real old , 80 plus.one of them actually make good longan water,real nice.after that my father went drinking.After a few cup,that wine was real strong and it had been kept a long time so it was oso real nice to drink.

after the visiting of my 2 gu buo.we went back to bedok which is where my ah ma stays.at that time my father was already half conscious already.Very scary.

When we reached bedok,he went siao.he go and scold his own family for nothing,he simply went to scold everyone.Siao right.Thats not all.After the whole family went pissed off and went home.I had to send him home.Tats hell man although he gave me extra 50 bucks for no reason but in exchange for it .That was real far man!!!

When i reached his hse.He simply won let me go.He asked me to sit down and listen to his grangmother story for 1 hrs and i was like yawning already.sian.After i really went off that flat, i felt wow finally:) and that was good.really very good:):)

28/01 (time past very fast)

2009-01-28T02:39:00.000-08:00

Another boring day.Today working as per usual.at round 11 plus, nat went off cos she was very sick.When she came to my desk and tell me she was goin home,I was shock.Her face was very pale, i was like on my wat happen to u.At that time i feel like sending her off to the MRT but i was on the phone.Sorry Nat.After Lunch round 2 plus i oso went to Sham and told him i wanna take leave cos every call i called appeared to be no answer due to the CNY and i got no more list to call already,so i take leave.

After tat i went to find my ah ma cos i was thinking of goin to thiong to cut my hair but it was CLOSED!!!sad...

First day of CNY

2009-01-26T06:55:00.000-08:00

it was very mono like i had in the past yrs and fun cos it was very short and after that i went to watch movie.the jack neo show.hehe then after that went home. home sweet home hehe:)

Bored at home but cannot go out...

2009-01-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

Today i got a very bad headaches that my right side of my face felt the pain as well. its been 2 days since i last blog already, this past few days i have been very sick so i have no mood to blog.haha even though im sick but im still praying real hard for the jpsae.i wanna go into tp and study.

dinie had quit his job as telemarketer because he is goin to NS this wed.dinie have been a good friend to me because he is those very "on" wan. if i say lets go borders to find books with me , he will say ''ok,sure.lets go''rather than a lot of friend that i had met that are very lazy and always wanted people to follow them rather that they follow me,u noe that type of feeling.k back to my working place, i noe my working place is bored and is very bored.At times i fall asleep when i called people,i play my pokemon game in my phone or listen to music on one ear and listen to calls on the another but this is life , if we quit we will have no money for shopping!!! isn't that sad...

22/01

2009-01-22T02:22:00.000-08:00

Today im sick so i took a half day off from work and came back earlier to rest. My life today was yet another day and was going very mono. i got a sudden urge to listen to Christina Aguilera song so i download her whole album since 2000 to 2008 .ops i jus said something.hehe:) I don't know how many album in between but i just download.hehe.

8 more days to the posting and i had been praying hard for the course in TP no doubt is far and is very far.But i got the passion for it and i think it will not make me go slacking.I apply this course through JPSAE wan so it can be very scary.but i was chosen for the interview so i was quite happy and not cos they still need time to think whether to accept me a not.

19/01

2009-01-19T05:11:00.000-08:00

today was a very busy day for me. i spent $28.80 on cab fare!!!from new town sec to TP,MAN AND IT WAS ON A PEAK HOURS!!!AHHHHH!very ex ! but today the interview turnout to be a presentation.The lecturer gave my group 2 product and we are suppose to discuss weather the product can sell anot and how will it sell.This course was all about socialogy,psychology and a little bit of biology.Very chim right, but this course is wat I want to study and where my passion are.

I really pray that the lecturer will take me into consideration.Because of this interview i bug my friend and my teacher to write me a recommendation letter. I wanna thank them for all things that they did for me.

MAN!today because of getting a recommendation letter from mr koh.i need to sing national anthem and say the pledge with my smart casual wear.Esther and Valeriya was laughing away!sian.

17/1

2009-01-16T17:07:00.000-08:00

Today will be a busy day for me because i got to rush to print my CCA cert, my testimonial and the disappointing Form A. I have to prepare myself for monday . I am sure monday will be a good day for me. i will make sure i will pray and pray for it. i want to make sure it will not be yet another disappointing day for me. no doubt my result was really crazy but i have faith on this course

11/1/09

2009-01-11T07:09:00.000-08:00

Today was a very tiring day for me man.I didn't sleep for the whole nitz and Im serving .but miraculously I made it , I didn't fall asleep during the service and Rev John was very good .

Today, I learnt how to honor People for who they are in God.Being a helper for quite long. today's message really remind me to honor my leader and how my cell leader share about how a helper that take ownership so well and the responsibility she take.That makes me as a helper oso to think what I do now is it enough for the members anot?

yeah

2008-10-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

after a long time i manage to blog le...yipee!!!but i got to log out le bb:(

uncondition love

2008-10-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

The greatest distance divides us
Not because you are oblivious to my love.
but when i stand in front of you;
because we love each other .
Knowing fate will forever keep us
Apart.

screwed

2008-06-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

man i just screwed everything. i just lost a friend that i can talk to. i had already lost one (not died,but different school already and different cell already , so its like very hard to talk to him). now i just lost one and i really hate the feeling of being misunderstand and because of that there goes the friendship. on the outside it may look friend but some things happen , it will never go back to the original already. when i start showing more care about that friend tat i can talk to, it does not mean that i like her, if like that keep on happen then most of the guy who try to get close to gals mights well become gay le lorx. finding a friend that can talk to is really very hard and is because of this reason, i concern them more than other friends. and here i am stress about my grades already and there come this problem. because of the grade i was like half dead already and now this , i was like .......

POA!!!!

2008-06-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

sian ah the POA question that today ms tan gave. the Q2 ah i keep on counting and checking i still get 1 thousand more is like what the. then later when i give up ah.me and naz went to thiong to eat at kopitiam cos naz wants to quickly cahnge his pink kopitiam card to the premium wan(the blue wan). then after eating we went to popular to find naz chess dummies and didn't find it. so we went anchorpoint to find at the times shop but still don hav . then later we have to go to centrepoint to collect it which is like wat the tat side got no direct bus lei but nvm gambatte!!!:)

very funny!!! :)

2008-06-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

hehe

2008-06-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

yeah im very happy bout my own walk with God . finally a period of dryness is over and im back in track . today is the last day of the holiday (saddened). but throughout this few week , i had been slacking and playing a lot and i didn touch my humanities homework yet hahaha.
yeah alex is back . man i somehow miss him sei when he went oversea, especially during the extra classes, no one seating behind me(i mean guys ok!) cos normally i would turn back and somehow do funny things or gay wif him(i mean play, don't get wrong ok!!!). its kind of fun when someone i can beat and squash whahahahaha!!! but for naz(he is real hairy on the inside. don think wrong. i mean his leg hehe.whahahaha!!!). he ah either laugh so loud in front of me , step on me or saliva anyhow fly . and one more thing, he got lots of girls and all are chinese.man, i think naz go and bleach white better hahahahah:).

hahaha smuggle into a gym

2008-06-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

hehe yesterday me , naz,marline and ani went to a condo and we smuggle into it . the gym is kinda all cardio . i think the purpose of building the gym is afraid that people eat too much then they hit the gym and run like never before(sorry... actually they are just running on a treadmil like never before hehe) and before that there are some pic that i wan to present ani riding on naz bike...

and this...

GOD

2008-06-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

GOD tell me how am i goin to get my 9 points ...sadden...

Thursday 12/6/08

2008-06-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

yeah!!!today my ah ma and my mum is back . i miss them lots and lots . finally today, i can don't need to sleep alone. i wonder ah ma got buy amyhing for me a not.

today very boring man and most worse is i don't have the mood to study(crap man), today when i was smsing kim, she told me to go gay wif WC.Sad...

haha:)

2008-06-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

i love SOYABEAN . its cool!!!

Hmm

2008-06-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

At times i feel very lost, don't know what to do.This year is my last year in NTSS.Although i am really sick and tired of this school and the colour now is simply sick(come on im a sec 5, how m i suppose to study in a kindergarden and is a big kindergarden).Although things happen a lot in school. friends problem upon problems, no stop like a waterfall .But without this problem, 5/2 may not be this happening , may not be this many chit chit chat chat. no doubt that my closer bunch of friends are still the express .But in my class i also have quite a lot of friends , good friends . since this is my last year. i have to make it a good want, make sure that when i leave, i leave without regret. make sure that i had make a lot of friends and grow more mature. and i wish to become a man of countenance.A man with

homeless

2008-06-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

why am i feelin so homeless. it is not as if i got no home .but why this feeling of empty is inside me brewing.maybe i am so use to when ah ma is always supporting me that i take it for granted . i feel so empty and don't know where to go and find a place where i can feel 'home'.i miss my ah ma and my mum a lot, although they went to KL yesterday and will be back on thursday.Yet i didn't expect i started missing them already.

home. home is somewhere u can feel love from your family and every people in this world needs a 'home' to go to . No matter how cold or heartless a person can be,they still need a 'home'. A home where they can feel love. A 'home' where they can feel secure in it.

.....

2008-05-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

nowadays finding a friend, a friend tat i can talk to, a friend tat can tolerate my BURPS, a friend tat can laugh together and be with you when u r feeling down. y is it so hard . everyone around me had really change a lot , they change through the environment and friends or should i put it tat they are maturing .

My criteria of friends :
=can help me in my homework(not using them of cos)
=joyful

My criteria of a good/best friends:
=socialable
=can click well with me
=don need to be a christian
=lame as me (tat will be good if got)
=crazy like me (^)
=know how to show care and concern when needed

ROY'S definition of best friend
=can click well(can be until a stage whereby u and yr best friend look alike)
=sensitivity( know when yr best friend is up or down, know how to manage it without problem)
=make fun of each other(but not until yr best friend is piss of)
=trust(u had to trust yr friend so much tat whenever u noe tat yr friend lie to u, u just have to trust and believe tat wat he doin is for the sake of u.)

ResultS

2008-05-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh my result is totally shit !!!! i feel like shout and scream ou t my lungs ... so shit men i cant stand it anymore

W446

2007-11-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel very guilty because of my job i can't go out with my cell and i really want to bond with the cell group although i try my best but i feel that i am not doing enough, i need to do more for the cell , i really want to see the united and strong cell . i really feel very stress at the same time very tired don't know what to do ... and how can i feel that my friend outside is more better than in cell, this is so not right . in the past when i was still in W268 i loved to go to cell i loved the company of being with cell until when my family scold i also don't mind. but now from what i feel is just like a commitment, what i want is not all about commitment but the loved , the care and concern that attract me to the cell automatically. but now i don't feel any of this and i feel very dry, its like you cannot feel the presence in the cell but an obligation that we need to go every week and this is not what i want to feel every week when i go to cell

if we want god presence to be in the cell, you yearn for it , go for it aggressively but not relying on others to build up the presence but everyone in the cell.

"-"

2007-08-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

wah i fail my english by 5 marks . wat is tat men ....i hate it . how come i will fail so badly . i really scared that i will go ITE and i don't want i want to fulfill my dream i don't want my dream to go farer apart from me

imperfect

2007-08-27T02:24:00.000-07:00

everyone walks in and out of my life, either leaves sweet or terrible memories behind...
Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up does!
~nothing seem to be perfect in this world.
~nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
~nothing is ever-lasting till the day euu are perfect.
~dun be afraid to admit that euu are less than perfect.
~beyond the boundaries.
~nobody has the rights to criticise people...everyone has their own pride
~conquering the whole world, doesnt means every1 must follow ur ways
~the world doesn't revolve the same way as what euu think.
~only euu know what is best for euu.

funny and sad

2007-08-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

ah i fail my SS and chinese. sad la. but after my teacher revised then i know how stupid i am to made so much careless mistake which should not been done . today , i went out with my friend jen how to buy a friend of ours a present for her.but i met jon and shaun there whoho. haha.jon look like when he was the pri 6 jon when he didn put wax and wore that uniform and that spec and when he smile at me he reminded me the muchroom hair jon with the new town uniform with the tie when he stand on the stage taking national anthem so funny la... hahaha. and when i think of that i just feel like laughing ah hahahahaha... but when he spot me and say hi to me , i feel that he wanted to talk to me but sorry jon. i need to entertain jen how i cant possible throw jen how aside and just talk to u but if can i still miss the day when i can talk to u untill i see u on yr HDB lift then i go. anyway i just want to thank god that i get to see u cos i didn expect u to be there because i was quite sad la that i fail my SS and chinese , and their marking pattern suddenly become so strict la and 3/4 of the stream FAIL!!!!! how can that be men but never mind. we should not be negative and i feel happy that i realise my mistake after all ... hehehehehe

slack ....... today got nothing special

2007-08-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

today, was a boring day . today i got my english paper 2 so the NA stream had a really very early dismissal at 9:45am , is like u go skool for jus 1 hrs and 45 min onli and u go home . but later on i have my POA tuition . this tuition is temporary wan and the teacher is jus a normal housewife that had nothing to do , so she take a few of my classmate and me to teach POA . the best part is i pay 50 bucks per 4 lessons onli and every lesson 2 hrs , isn't tat good. later at night bout 7 i will go from my tuition to jurong point to walk and its been a long time since i done this, jus to walk walk and reflect on my days or if better a 'best friend' is able to walk wif me to talk but now it seems that everybody is busy so i dare not call them jus to walk wif me , how can i waste their precious time just to walk wif me...........................

Stress...bout my prelim

2007-08-21T04:26:00.000-07:00

today is my english paper and social studies paper.although tat i study everything. but i don't seem to really memorise everything so sad

anyway , today i did a lot of reflection on myself and i notice that where was the fire tat i possess few years back gone to and i realise quite a lot of things and it was pride . but then i realise god is bigger than me and god want me to take out of that pride in my life so tat he will do great things in my life .... what joyce meyer said is true . when we pray , every sentence tat we pray is all bout 'I' and god don't want us to be like this but he want us to wait upon him and let him arrange where we suppose to go